Abortion Legislation
I started to post this elsewhere, and decided it was too off-topic for off-topic. It's just a thought prompted by the overwhelming male-to-female ratio on the thread at the other place.
However, I just want to weigh in again with the fact that no man should have final deciding power to legislate on the subject of abortion. Despite the fact that it's an unrealistic statement, despite the fact that there are probably many loving, compassionate men in the various fields involved, no man can really know what it's like to carry a child. I'm sorry if I'm over-emotionalizing this, but it just seems to me such an intensely personal process that is so much a part of the woman who is experiencing it. No outsider can know how it changes you.
Look, I know that every day, people make laws about things they have not personally experienced; there's no other way to do it. It would be impossible to have only former crack addicts manage drug laws, for example. It just seems to me that with pregnancy affecting such a large proportion of the population, that a change in thinking is necessary.
Now, I would not have an abortion. Before I had Dominic, I possibly would have. When a friend of mine actually made an appointment to get one, I was really upset. But IT WAS HER RIGHT (in case you were wondering, in passing, she lost the baby five days after she changed her mind about the abortion. So sad). Nobody should be able to tell you what to do with your reproductive system, especially someone who does not have the same parts. It is no man's business, even, in extremis, the father (although I will say that the ideal would be a mutual decision) what you do.
Sorry to rant. I know this isn't well-thought-out, but I had to exorcise it.
However, I just want to weigh in again with the fact that no man should have final deciding power to legislate on the subject of abortion. Despite the fact that it's an unrealistic statement, despite the fact that there are probably many loving, compassionate men in the various fields involved, no man can really know what it's like to carry a child. I'm sorry if I'm over-emotionalizing this, but it just seems to me such an intensely personal process that is so much a part of the woman who is experiencing it. No outsider can know how it changes you.
Look, I know that every day, people make laws about things they have not personally experienced; there's no other way to do it. It would be impossible to have only former crack addicts manage drug laws, for example. It just seems to me that with pregnancy affecting such a large proportion of the population, that a change in thinking is necessary.
Now, I would not have an abortion. Before I had Dominic, I possibly would have. When a friend of mine actually made an appointment to get one, I was really upset. But IT WAS HER RIGHT (in case you were wondering, in passing, she lost the baby five days after she changed her mind about the abortion. So sad). Nobody should be able to tell you what to do with your reproductive system, especially someone who does not have the same parts. It is no man's business, even, in extremis, the father (although I will say that the ideal would be a mutual decision) what you do.
Sorry to rant. I know this isn't well-thought-out, but I had to exorcise it.
posted by Coco at 9:05 a.m.
10 Comments:
I agree. I have so many thoughts and opinions about this. I hate the hypocrasy (sp) of many anti-abortionists. I did not say all. I won't get into my full rant here so i will just say that you and I agree on this topic.
*poot*
*smooch* Carey
I agree. Holier-than-thou anti-abortion activists wind me up so tight. Abortion should be a last resort, yes, but forcryingoutloud, it's not anyone's business!
And Nutty, "no one's business" is exactly my position.
I remember back in high school, I was very anti about it. My best friend got pregnant at 16, had one, got pregnant again at 17, this time kept the baby, married the guy and had more kids. I had another friend who thought she was pregnant. Right after graduation, I was late one time and had a big scare. And that's when it really hit me. What would "I" do in that sort of situation?
That, and having a child of my own, changed things. I have also had one friend who had to terminate one baby because she conceived through in-vitro with triplets. The doctors determined she would not be able to carry three babies to term. So at risk of losing all three, she terminated one (selective reduction, I think). And I know another couple who terminated a pregnancy because there was something wrong.
There are those who are anti-abortion. That's fine with me, that's your life. There are others who have the "I am woman, hear me roar" position. I don't have to agree with anyone, and no one has to agree with me -- it's my business.
Yes, none of their business or mine.
When I was maybe 19, my doctor gave me the wrong prescription for the pill. I ended up missing a period because the pills were too strong for me. With few exceptions, I have never panicked so much. I wish I could make others feel that panic, the out-and-out fear.
I don't agree with abortion, so I won't have one. But I don't need to - I'm set up for kids. When I was 19...I just don't know.
I agree...men don't know what it is like...no clue.
It is never and easy decision to make and I can't even go near opening any thread that discusses it. I made that mistake a few months ago.
Okay. I am here to comment on this but Nathaniel is stirring so I need to be breif. And in this case, brevity makes the point: my body, my decision.
I have always been pro-choice but when I became pregant I became very vocal about being pro-choice. Nobody can ever understand to what extent your body plays the role of "host" until she is pregnant. The decsion to move forward with the AFP and CVS test was a very personal decsion and for the most part, I kept it personal. But still, it was my choice...or in this case our choice as a couple to decide we wanted to bring a deathly ill, mentally incompetitant child into this world. (and now I am rambling becasue I am rushed.)
However, I do think that legislating abortion is an almost nebulous thing. You have to ask, at what point does it become morally/ethically wrong to abort a fetus? Some would say after the first tri-mmester others would say no limitations what so ever.
To me, this is where abortion and the legality of, become problematic.
I will try to keep this short and relatively emotion free.
When I was 19, I had been on my own for 2 years and had paid my way through college, had my own house, my own car, etc. I had no one helping me with my life. With the exception of the roof over my head in high school and the utilities, I hadn't had any help in life since I was 12. That said, I found out I was pregnant in the summer of 1997. I was 19, almost 20. The father and I had discussed marriage, but we were going to hold off until I was out of college. I was on the pill. Had been for 4 1/2 years at that point. So, I digested this surprise and informed the father. And my family. No one was very happy about it, but 99% of them accepted it and went on. My former step mother was another story. The first words out of her mouth? "What are you going to do about IT?" Never once had abortion crossed my mind as a viable option. Never once had adoption crossed my mind. This was my child, my responsibility. And, 7 months later, Rotten1 was born. I'd never change that decision for the world. And that one little question was the final straw in an extremely volatile, hateful relationship.
With that said, I could never deny a person the right to make that choice. And no one, NO ONE should be able to make that choice for anyone else. The decision maker, the mother, has to be able to live with that choice for the rest of her life. And she is the only one who will have to deal with it. Therefore, in as simple a way as I can - she is the only one who should be able to say yes or no, when, where, and how.
I will add another thought I had after hitting post...
While I may not agree with the reasons a person has for an abortion, that isn't for me to like or dislike.
And...maybe most importantly (in my eyes only), I did have to have a amnio done while pregnant with Rotten1. One of the earlier tests (I Forget which) had back with a false positive for Downs Syndrome. And it scared the shit out of me. I didn't know how or what I'd do if he had come out with Downs. I didn't know if I could deal with it. Thankfully, I never had to figure that out. And there are many that can't deal with that thought.
What the...? How did I get in here?
*looks for way out*
*nods in agreement*
It is up to each woman to decide whether or not to have an abortion. She should have the right to make that decision or not. It is not my place, nor anyone else's to tell someone else that they *will* continue the pregnancy. I don't know if I would ever choose to have an abortion, but it's my body, my choice.
And until they can come up with a way to transfer the fetus into the man's body, and for him to carry it to term and give birth, it will remain my choice.
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